We all have our own little foibles. Our dirty little secrets we keep hidden from friends, lovers, family.
I’m not talking about the “big” stuff like affairs, love children, secret pasts as bank robbers. I mean the other type, the behavioral secrets.
Mine is that I have a closet junk food addiction. This is pretty funny given I am a bit of a food snob as well as a food blogger.
But yes, I sometimes get junk food craving. It’s usually for a burger and maybe fries. Once the idea is planted in my mind, I generally can’t shake it.
The thought becomes like a bad 1980s tune on a loop in my brain that can’t be shut down until I indulge. Think Kajagoogoo. All. The. Time.
And then, when I do…it doesn’t give me satisfaction.
Until (very) recently, to satiate this craving, I would head out in my car, go to a drive through far from anywhere I would be recognized. I’d eat it in my car then dispose of the evidence as fast as possible. Then I would continue to my destination.
I would always feel a dirty and wrong, like a morning after the night before walk of shame. My stomach would always be bloated. And yes, there was always a lingering smell of what I had eaten. That heady mix of sugar, fat and E numbers.
I last did this about a month ago. But that isn’t to say I haven’t had the urge or craving since then.
Since then I have been working on strategies to recognize the trigger (stress, boredom, low blood sugar are coming up as chief offenders) and work on ways to overcome it. Believe me, it isn’t as easy as taking up macrame or looking at cute animals on Buzzfeed.
Guess I have to find another dirty little secret. One without a high fat content.